Torn
by ladymars
Summary: Sometimes the most difficult choice to make is not between life and death, but between which fate will do less damage to the future.


Torn

Lady Mars

Disclaimer: First off, for all those who haven't gotten to the end of the series, there are some spoilers in this; it's your digression to read it or not.

I don't own Heat Guy J, but I am only using it in the late night devices of my muse.

I would like to thank all those who read 'Scornful Love.' It makes me feel good to know that people are taking the time to stop and read my stuff. And another thanks to all those who left reviews for it too. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as you did the last one. Now, on to the fun.

* * *

_"I think I'm gonna die today_

_And everyone who hurt me is gonna pay._

_How can a short time feel so long?_

_How can such a long life go so wrong?"_

_Everlast – So Long_

* * *

Daisuke sat out on his balcony, staring at the rain falling just beyond the roofline. Since the confrontation with Clair Leonelli and the murder attempt by his partner, he had been sitting on his balcony watching the rain fall in blankets.

The dismal weather played perfectly into his melancholy state for mind; there was something oddly therapeutic about the weather pattern, or, at least, he didn't feel so bad about crying his eyes out when it rained. When it rained, his tears mixed with the water that pooled on every surface, erasing any sign of grief on his face. It also made lying to his friends that much easier.

He shifted in his chair, swinging his legs up to rest on the bar of the protective fencing that surrounded his balcony. His loose black pants rustled in the light wind that accompanied the downpour, bringing a new distraction to the pelting rhythm of the rain. He shifted slightly again to put an end to the minor annoyance, but by doing so, he drew himself back to the train of thought that he was trying to abolish.

After a few tense moments in the office with J, he had fled into the night, not willing to believe what Clair had told him. He had torn through the streets as fast as his legs would carry him, ignoring the pelting rain and the stares of the people on the street. He hadn't paid any attention to where he was going until he realized he was in the cemetery. He slowly walked down the rows of gravestones, eventually stopping at his father's.

He stared at the glistening marble, wondering what insane twist of fate had brought him here. He never understood why his father had to die, it was another strange meddling of fate that made his more life miserable, nor did he understand why his father had left him responsible for anything Serge Echigo did after his death. But since Echigo had died almost five years prior, his responsibility was now to take out Echigo's prodigy: Shun.

He had stayed, rooted to the spot for sometime, not really thinking, before he turned and walked away again. But this time, he wasn't walking out on a mob boss and his possessed partner this time.

The rest of the Special Forces Unit, with help from J, had tracked Daisuke to the cemetery where his father had been laid to rest and were awaiting the blonde's departure. They wondered what had driven him to flee the safety of the building and run out into the cold, raining afternoon.

They all watched silently as Daisuke, completely drenched, walked by them towards the exit. The blonde agent paid them no heed as he passed, as if he had never seen them standing there.

He had returned to an empty apartment, as it always seemed to be, to dry off and change. Now he sat, as he had hours before, watching the rain fall and trying to figure out a way out of his current situation without the horrendous repercussions of death. So far, he had come up with nothing.

Daisuke idly wondered why he hadn't seen this coming from off on the horizon. Shun had always seen the rest of the world with scorn, with remorse ever since their mother left them behind all those years ago. He thought that all of his problems were her fault and, in turn, took it out on the rest of the city and on Daisuke. When their father had died, his older brother's hatred melted away form the surface, but still lurked deep within the recesses of his mind, slipping out every now and again in the cold glances that would be cast in his general direction.

He wondered how Shun had come across Echigo and if he knew if they were related. He snorted at the thought; of course his brother would know. Two people don't look remarkably alike without a very odd twist of fate or by being related. And this was no odd twist of fate. He knew Shun had been destined to find Echigo, a man who shared a common loathing with him: Marius Aurora.

Daisuke never knew why his father and uncle didn't get along; their small family never had much contact with either side of the extended families. But he believed it had something to do with his mother; leaving because she missed her true home was most likely a guise to get away from the almost constant fighting between her brother and husband. She didn't want to get caught up in their fighting so she did the one thing she thought was right, she fled. She fled to leave the fighting behind, only to cause more in her wake. Things only got worse between the adults, leading to their father's assassination. And it didn't help that her leaving made Shun hate the entire world either.

Daisuke sighed; maybe things would have been better if she had stayed. _'Or it could have ended in a double murder instead of a single assassination,' _he thought. _'But the real question is why didn't Echigo kill me when he had the chance? This plot must have been boiling for years, so why didn't he just eliminate me when he could do it without remorse?'_ He thought about it for a moment. _'Simple, he didn't have Shun on his side yet and killing me would have pushed him further away. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if he had just done it instead of leaving me to clean up everybody's mess.'_ He turned his concentration back to the rain, trying to brush the thoughts out of the way. _'But what good would have that done? Shun would still have extracted revenge on Echigo and then there would have been no one here to stop him…'_ He swung his legs off of the bar and onto the ground, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees.

The rain hadn't stopped, nor had it slowed or shown any signs of slowing. But it wasn't like he minded; he wasn't going to be moving any time soon.

_'So now what Daisuke? Now what do you do? Shogun's dead, Leonelli has come back to life, and your partner is under your maniacal brother's control. How do you get yourself out of this mess? How do you resolve all the problems with the entire unit breathing down your neck?'_ He sighed, finally getting up and moving to lean on the railing. The silver bullet swung from its chain, drawing his attention downward. But it wasn't the bullet he was looking at. _'Could it be that simple? Would it be that simple?'_

He stared down at the street below him; the cold concrete sidewalk gathered puddles of water from the hours of rain they had been experiencing. The water splashed in the pools, causing more of it to bounce off in its wake. There was something alluring about the scene below him to his tired, confused mind. _'Could it be that easy? Just step off and say goodbye to it all? Would they really miss me if I did?'_ The rain now gathered and fell from his hair, having soaked it as he stared down at the sidewalk below him. He flipped the wet strands out of his eyes and swung up on the green bar, balancing his weight on it as not to fall from off.

He wasn't really sure of how he had gotten to these thoughts, but now that they cropped up, there was nothing he could do to stop them. They continued to prattle on in his mind, driving him to really wonder if this was what he was meant to do.

_'Maybe I should just do it, end it all right now. Who is there to stop me? Who is there to care?'_ He sighed again, still staring at the street. _'J would… He would miss me. He is my partner and I have invested so much time into him… Even if he is under Shun's control… And the others… Would they really miss me if I did it? Would I really be that much of a loss? Would it really be that horrible to let Shun go through with what he had planned as I slip off into the eternal darkness?'_ He sighed again. _'Why would Shun carry on if I died? Why would he? Because there wouldn't be anyone there to stand opposed to him, that's why. There would be nothing standing between him and ultimate power. So I can't do this, I can't let him get away with this.'_

Daisuke spun around on the support bar and set his feet down to the cold concrete, getting read to go back inside again and prepare himself for the inevitable fate that awaited him. But something stopped him; something stopped him from moving from his spot. Something was calling him from the deep recesses of his mind, causing him to freeze in his spot.

_'But then again, who's to say that even if I am here, I'll be able to stop him? I haven't been able to stop him up until now so why should I think that I will be able to stop him? Why shouldn't I end it all and just let him go on his merry way like I never existed to stop him in the first place?'_ He set his feet onto the ground, his resolve growing. _'Would it really matter if I did do it and left it to the rest of them to put an end to Shun's meddling ways? Would they be able to pick up and finish what I had left behind?'_

Daisuke turned around again, staring at the building across the street. The people around him and across from him were blissfully unaware of the pelting sheets of rain and the mental agony he was being put through. They would never know the pain he had to deal with, the wretched choices he was being forced to make. Nothing in his relatively short life could have prepared him for the message encrypted in the blues sand of the micro storage that his father had locked away in his bullet all those years ago. No one could take back what had happened that day.

_'Maybe if Dad still lived, I wouldn't have this problem. Sure Shun would still be mad at Mom for leaving, but at least then he wouldn't have met Echigo and become a power hungry shadow of himself. And then I wouldn't have to make this decision… Damn it all!'_ He latched onto his bullet and pulled it from its resting place with extreme force. He wanted to be away from the one thing that connected him with the past and the current problems as fast as possible.

The clasp snapped open and the chain broke free of his neck, draping itself over his arm. He took one last scornful look at the object before turning slightly and hurling back into his bedroom. The necklace bounced across the floor, ricocheted off the door frame, and rolled into the hall before coming to a stop.

Now rid of the accursed object, Daisuke turned back to the rain and his fate. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to get it over with. Death seemed to be calling to him now more than it ever did before.

With thoughts of his own mortality dancing through his head, he mounted the bar above the ivy fence on his balcony. He grasped the roofline lightly, staring down at the asphalt below him. _'I guess this is it then.'_ He sighed, a rueful smile plastered to his face. _'I guess I'm finally going to get to see you again Dad, probably a lot sooner than you thought, huh?' _He learned over the edge a little more, his fingers still twined in the overhang. _'Goodbye my friends, here's hoping that you'll never let me fade out of your memories.'_ He slowly loosened his grip from the overhang.

* * *

Kyoko shook the water out of her umbrella before folding it. She looked around the lobby of the building, trying to get her bearings.

After seeing him leave the cemetery in such a distraught state, she had taken it upon herself to make sure that Daisuke was ok. From what she could gather from the few short seconds that she saw of him, he wasn't exactly in the best of shape, but she could understand why.

Boma had told the remaining members of the unit what has transpired in Shun's office between Leonelli and Daisuke before settling back into his normal state of lingering silence. The unit, sans Antonia and J, had gone off to find Daisuke in the cemetery. It was blatantly obvious that he wasn't going to speak with them when he left and since they were all cold, tired, and a little wet, she had decided to go on her own accord instead of suggesting that the whole group make the trek. She knew that they were all thinking the same thing when he walked by and she wasn't going to be surprised if one, if not more, of the members tried to reach out to the ailing Aurora.

She slowly started climbing the stair to his apartment. She had never been there, nor had she even seen the building before a few moments prior, but something about the place seemed to be suited to Daisuke's tastes. It had a homey atmosphere to it, but it was far away enough from the center of the city that it was relatively quiet. She had found his address with relative ease through the city's network, but it was more of a problem to convince her grandfather to let her handle this one on her own; Daisuke probably wasn't in the mood for visitors, which would make her job that much harder.

She rounded the last corner and stared down the moderately lit hallway. She still wasn't sure what had driven her to come here, but she knew she would feel better once she knew her officemate was all right.

Kyoko walked slowly down the hall, reading off numbers until she came across Daisuke's. She timidly raised her hand and rapped on the door, wondering if he was actually here. She waited for a moment for the man to respond before trying again. Since she got no response the second time around, she tried the doorknob. The door swung open rather easily, surprising her; Dice didn't seem like the kind of person who would leave his door unlocked.

She stepped into the dark apartment, closing the door behind her, wondering where Dice was. She found it really odd that his whole apartment was dark and silent; it was like he wasn't even there.

"Daisuke?" she called, but she got nothing in the way of a response. "Daisuke, are you here?" Still nothing.

She scanned the rooms around her, noting the few signs of life scattered about. His keys were on the counter, there were a few papers scattered about, and his damp, white jacket hung on the back of a chair. She was vaguely sure that he was here, so she carried on.

Kyoko walked slowly down the hallway to Dice's bedroom, almost stepping on his bullet in the process. She squatted and picked up the small trinket, wondering why it would be so carelessly discarded. _'I wonder how this got here. It's not like Daisuke to discard something he cherishes so much. Something really must be wrong if he left it out here.'_ She straightened and carried on into the doorway.

Upon first glance, it looked as if the younger Aurora wasn't there. There was no sign f life presently, but his wet clothes were scattered between his bed and floor. Kyoko would have sworn that he wasn't there had she not turned the corner into his room and saw him on the balcony.

"DAISUKE!" She dropped her purse and umbrella and was standing at his side in a matter of a few short seconds. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" She questioned, halfway between worry and rage. He turned his head slightly, giving her a cold glance, before turning back to the rooftops and the rain again.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he questioned quietly. Kyoko floundered; that was the last thing she had expected him to say.

"It looks to me like you're flirting a little too much with danger, but that's just me," she replied coldly. He snorted at her reply.

"Close," he replied, equally as cold. "But I'm dancing with a different partner than danger this time." It took a moment for her to understand what he was talking about, but when she did, her blood ran cold.

"Daisuke, you can't be serious about doing this?" she asked hurriedly, trying to think of a way to keep him from letting go.

"And what if I am?" he asked, catching her gaze again. "What are you going to do about it?" Kyoko chewed on her nail nervously; she had never had to deal with a situation like this before.

"I don't know," she replied quietly, defeated by a simple question. Daisuke snorted.

"As I thought. Now unless you really have the desire to watch me splatter into the ground, I suggest that you leave." Kyoko sighed, turning away from him.

"Fine, I'm not going to try and stop you, but before you do, know that if you do decide to do it, I'll be right behind you." Daisuke froze momentarily before swinging around to face her.

"What?" he questioned silently. Kyoko stopped at the balcony doors because of his question.

"I don't think any of us could live without you; you are the glue that holds us together." Daisuke stared at her, an unspoken question lingering in his eyes. "Most of J's memories are with you and without you, I'd wager, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. And Antonia really doesn't have anything to do without J. Boma doesn't trust anyone besides you and J, Monica looks up to you, no matter what she may say about it, Ken… Well… Ken respects you for being you, and I…" Kyoko faltered; Daisuke continued to stare at her.

"What about you Kyoko?" She sighed. "What is it that makes you want to kill yourself if I let go of the roof?"

"I don't know Dice," she mumbled quietly. She finally turned around to face him again. "There's just something about your presence, despite the fact that you never do any REAL work, that makes the day more enjoyable. I go nuts when you're gone, especially when J isn't around either. Just being there lightens up the room to me and if something were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do with myself…" Kyoko's gaze drifted to the ground; she wasn't willing to let Dice see her cry. That was a weakness that she wouldn't admit to having in front of him.

Daisuke stared at the woman, stunned. She had just willingly exposed her soul to him and he was still thinking of killing himself despite it. He lowered himself to the ground carefully.

"You really mean that?" he asked quietly; Kyoko just nodded. Despite being completely soaked again, Daisuke closed the gap between them in a few short steps and pulled her into an impromptu embrace. Kyoko tensed at the sudden contact and the fact that Daisuke was colder than ice, but she slowly relaxed into the embrace. Daisuke buried his face in her hair, trying to with hold back his tears. "God I'm so selfish," he mumbled. "I should have known better… I should have known…" He tightened his grip on her as the first few tears slid from his eyes. "It's just that… I don't know how to deal with this. Shun's the only family I really have left and if I loose him or, gods forbid, I actually have to kill him… I… I won't know what to do with myself. I'm torn between what I need to do to protect the city and her people and what I need to do to protect him. I can't decide between my friends and my brother; I'm just not capable of making a choice like that." The moment after the last words spilled from his mouth, Daisuke fell into a round of sobs.

Kyoko didn't say anything until she was sure he was done; she just stood there, rubbing small circles on his back in a gesture of kindness. It took a few moments, but Daisuke sobs slowly subsided.

Once he was back in some sort of control of himself, Kyoko locked her gaze with his.

"I know this is difficult Daisuke," she started quietly. "But if you will let us, we'll find a way to make it all right again. You just have to trust us and have faith that your brother, the brother you know and love, will realize how much trouble he is causing. Will you let us help you with this problem?" Daisuke nodded. " Good!" Kyoko replied, her exuberance returning. She stepped back from him, grabbing one of his hands. "Now you need to get back inside, get changed again, and get yourself to bed. We've got a long day ahead of tomorrow and we don't need our primary detective falling asleep on the job, now do we?" Daisuke smiled slightly, shaking his head. "Ok then." She began to walk away, pulling gently on his arm but the still wasn't moving.

"Kyoko," he stated quietly. She stopped and turned back to him. "Do you really think that we can make this all right again? Do you really think it's possible?" She shrugged.

"I don't know," she replied. "But I do know that whatever you decide to do and however you decide to do it, we'll be behind you all of the way." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze to emphasize her point. Daisuke smiled genuinely, returning the gentle pressure, before releasing her hand. "Ok then, now that all of that is settled, you need to get cleaned up and to bed and I need to get out of here." She shut the doors to Daisuke's balcony before beginning to exit. She got halfway to the door when she remembered something.

"Oh yeah." She spun on her heel and walked back to him. "This," she handed him his bullet back. "Belongs to you. Don't want you freaking out when you figure out that you don't have it anymore." She smiled at him again. " And don't forget what I told you; any of us is willing to listen and help if you would just let us in, ok?" Daisuke nodded. "Well, I better be going then." She rolled up on her toes and placed a small kiss on his cheek. "You take care of yourself, you hear me?" He nodded again. "See you tomorrow!" She walked out of the room and shortly there after, the apartment.

Daisuke stood, clutching his bullet, a bit unsure of what had just transpired. But amidst all of the insecurity he felt, he knew there would be hope for the future. He swung the chain up into his hand, his lost resolve returning. _'Sorry Shun, that title of yours and all of your power isn't going to be a handout; you'll have to go through me first if you really want it that bad.'_


End file.
